* My baloney has a first name it's V-A-N-E-S-S-A?

today and well, HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT ON VANESSA BRYANT'S BREASTS?



Ignore the ugly dress, ignore her holding hands with the antichrist, ignore the fact that her left breast is far more smushed up than her right, and focus on those strange dark areas.



I feel like I'm examining purported UFO pictures here, but if those are what I think they are, then Kobe Bryant's agent is missing a golden opportunity with Oscar Mayer.